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Tuesday 9 June 2015

When Bad Things Happen

'When Bad Things Happen, How Do We React'

As human beings our natural reaction when something bad happens to us is to question why?  Why us?  We've done nothing wrong.  We're good people.  We never hurt anyone or stole anything.  But as God's people we shouldn't be asking why we should be looking at how we react when these things happen to us.  I have a 2 year old at home and she has recently started asking why. But did you ever notice when a child asks why and you answer they ask why again? That's how it is. Even if we get an answer to our first why it only unearths another.

Now I'm fairly sure everyone here won't have to think to hard or long to think of something bad that has happened to them directly or a close loved one.  Now think for a moment of how you reacted to that, as an immediate reaction.  The question is not why but how we are Christians who believe that God is loving, God is just, God is good, God is merciful - how we show the world how to deal with pain, with loss, with hurt.

In our Psalm (Psalm 37) reading you'll notice 3 words that are repeated ... 'Do not fret'.  I know it's human nature to worry but where does it get us?  Nowhere.  Worrying does nothing.  It doesn't change what happened.  It doesn't help in what's to come.  It makes our present miserable.  I know personally it's easier said than done not to worry but when the head rules and we can pull ourselves out of worrying life is better or at least easier to deal with.

So how do we react?  How should we react?  Acceptance is the best place to start.  Accept that what has happened is God's will and plan. I know believe me that this definitely is easier said than done.  On December 23rd last year Colin got up to go to work, his last day before Christmas.  He was to bring his brothers presents with him.  Knowing him I thought 'he's gone without them'. At 6 a.m. I got up and sure enough there were the presents on the table. Called him 'you better come back'. When he walked in the door a few minutes later I said 'you've to bring me to the hospital'. At 12.05 I gave birth to our 20 week angel.  Our baby had died.  Why? God knows and only God.  Is there anything I can do now to change what happened?  No.
Now when my head rules I can be pragmatic.  I can accept that I had no control over what happened. I can accept that it was God's plan. I can think about what he was saved from having not lived.  But when my heart rules I think like any human, like any mother ... what did I do wrong? What could I have done to prevent it? Why would God do this to me?  Now I know we're all human and acceptance doesn't come easy a lot of the time and certainly there are times when we can accept what happened and times when we will still question why but that's when we need God to carry us through.

So after acceptance what then?  For me after acceptance is how can I use what happened to me to help others.  I'm not saying all this to look good or make myself sound like the perfect person, I'm saying it in the hope that it will help at least one person.  If it does then that's one more person that can maybe see some light at the end of the tunnel.

How can we use our experiences to help others?  Look on the bright side, and yes there always is a bright side.  So often we hear all the bad stuff that happens we can forget that sometimes things could have been a whole lot worse.  In our case we were lucky that our angel was born quickly with no complications afterwards.  We are lucky to have 3 wonderful, healthy (allbeit crazy) girls already.  Some people aren't so lucky.

One of the best remedies that we can use to show those around us that life isn't all bad, that God takes care of us no matter what, that we can get through things ... is free.  It's a smile.  A smile works in all sorts of scientific ways to help a person, releasing happy hormones and the like.  But a smile works a much more simple way too, it gives others hope.  Hope that some day they too can have a peace where they can smile and remember the good rather than cry over the bad that cannot be changed.  I heard of a man one time who smiled at everyone he met.  His girlfriend thought it a bit strange and asked him why he did it.  'Because,' he said, 'one day I met a man who told me that while he was on his way to jump off a bridge because everything had gone wrong he looked up and a stranger smiled at him.  That made him feel some bit of kindness and hope.  He didn't jump off the bridge.  So if my smiling at strangers can help someone like that it costs me nothing and I'm happy to do it.'

Anyone ever thought of that?  Of the effect your simple smile can have on those who see it.  In February I was on my way to the hospital to get the post-mortem results of our angel.  I wasn't in a particularly good mood as you may understand.  Thinking I'd treat myself to a nice coffee first I went into McDonalds.  When my coffee was ready a very nice lady handed it to me, looked me in the eye and said 'you take care now and we'll see you again soon.'  I could have hugged her.  But I thought was she had no idea what I was going through and just those few little words lifted my spirits.  If I had been like that man going to jump I'm fairly certain those words would have saved my life, just because I wanted a coffee.

So because we are God's people and know He loves us, cares for us and will not bring us through trials alone we can accept what happens, think about how we can use our experiences to help others and SMILE.



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I've been a Local Preacher (Lay Reader) in the Methodist Church in Ireland for the last 15 years or so.  This basically means I lead worship every now and then, about once a month, though I can't perform marriage or baptismal services or officate over Holy Communion.  Anyhow, this year I've lead a few services and one of the great things about being an LP is that you can recycle your services because you generally aren't in the same church.  This was a recent sermon and I hope it may help and guide you or your loved ones.

Your comments are as always welcome xx

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing Ruth and especially for that lovely McD story, such power in little things.

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  2. Wonderful, Ruth, and even better is that you live out what you preach so what you say is even more powerful. God bless,

    Clodagh

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